starting today all blogs without the following images will be deleted within 24 hours
I think she was, even when she may not have realized it at the time, if that makes sense. I think she had been sexually used and abused by more than just one person. I don’t think she always realized it because of her age and naivety. (it’s a funny thing to call Alison DiLaurentis naive, but you’ll understand what I mean as you read on)
This flashback and this flashback are the only two scenes that make it very apparent. The first not really needing much explanation, but the one with Cece is a little more subtle in a way. Cece said Alison was being “really sketchy” about her relationship with a mystery boy. It could have been what Cece assumed, it could have been that the boy was much older. The fact that Ali didn’t tell Cece when she told her all sorts of things she didn’t tell anyone else leads me to believe it could have been that the boy wasn’t someone Cece would have approved of if she knew who it was.
This also correlates to what Alison said when Cece asked if she told the boy that she might be pregnant. "I can’t. Look, if he finds out he’s going to kill me." It doesn’t sound like he’s that great of a guy or even cares for Ali. It obviously wasn’t a sweet or happy relationship.
The biggest indicator to me is Alison’s attraction to adult men when she was fifteen years old. Psychology is strange. When people are abused, especially children, they tend find a way to warp it in their mind to cope if no one helps them. They begin to believe that it’s either their own fault and they deserve it, or that’s what’s right and how it’s supposed to be.
She wanted to be wanted by men because she thought she was supposed to. Ian, Ezra, Cece thought and may have been Wilden, we still don’t know who Beach Hottie is, the mystery guy in the pregnancy scare, and countless college boys she’d mess with at parties. She didn’t know what it was like to be with someone who honestly knew her and cared for her. Lying was second nature to her and she sexualized herself because she thought that was what they wanted from her and she was supposed to give it.
She was very fond of the novel Lolita and even took on the name of one of the characters (which is an anagram of the author’s name) as an alias. (The fact that Alison takes Vivian’s name may also reference Alison’s gift at story telling as Vivian Darkbloom was a playwright) The novel is actually quite sad and very controversial as is more or less romanticizes pedophilia. The gist is a middle aged man falls in love with a twelve year old girl who reminds him of a girl he loved in his youth. His love could be better described as obsession.
That’s essentially what Alison wanted from people. You may have posed this question to me because of this post, so I won’t go into detail about my belief that Alison’s mother was verbally abusive and may have become violent on a few occasions. It’s clear to me though, that Alison didn’t understand love. Emily even says, "I don’t think she knew how [to love]. She just collected love from other people."
This flashback even shows Alison confusing love with shallow adoration. The discussion about all the things she makes up emphasized my belief that she simply hid the fact that she was sad, lonely and hurting. She made up beautiful lies to glamour everyone. Like with her belief that sexualizing herself was the only way to get men to like her, she thought she had to make herself sound more interesting to make friends.
She put herself out there because she wanted attention. She wanted to feel wanted by someone. How she acted when she left the party going on at her house showed that she didn’t like how someone wanted her then. I assume someone there may have been more aggressive in their desire for her and that’s not what she wanted. It upset her. The fact that she cried about it leaves me feeling very uneasy. She was clearly not okay with whatever happened to her. (I get a sinking feeling that her brother may have known and either not cared or was part of it)
The fact that she comes in angry and criticizing Jason and the guys next door shows that she’s a bit “hardened” I guess I could say. What happened didn’t exactly shock her as if it was the first time. She seemed more frustrated, as if this was something that’s happened enough times that she could fight down the tears until she was left with the silence. That’s when she began to cry. Then she brushed it off when Spencer and Emily noticed she was honestly upset. That’s what you do once something has happened to you so many times that you simply accept it.
I hope this was helpful. It’s hard to elaborate on this any farther seeing how most of my belief in this comes from how Alison acts in general since there’s only been a few concrete hints.
whenever i would see you at school, walking around campus, i talked to you. out loud, but quietly. you could never hear me. often you didn’t even see me. i would say hi, beautiful. i miss you. i miss you.